lshoefitsme's Xanga

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 15:05:38 GMT

You are so dead to me...xanga.

The life which you once had...has been sucked dry by myspace and facebook. The glory you once held has been tarnished. You have been reduced to rubble. It has been a fun ride, but I am afraid you are now being thrown out of the car...myspace has shotgun and facebook is sitting in the back seat in the middle with it's feet on the hump. I have loved our time together...but I am afraid things have to end. I will miss your smile...

See you in heaven...

richard

Friday, July 14, 2006

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 19:05:28 GMT

"Don, I can't explain how freeing that was, to realize that if I met Jesus, He would like me. I never felt like that about some of the Christians on the radio. I always thought if I met those people they would yell at me. But it wasn't like that with Jesus. There were people He loved and people He got really mad at, and I kept identifying with the people He loved, which was really good, because they were all the broken people, you know, the kind of people who are tired of life and want to be done with it, or they are desperate people, people who are outcasts or pagans. There were others, regular people, but He didn't play favorites at all, which is miraculous in itself. That fact alone may have been the most supernatural thing He did. He didn't show partiality, which every human does."
--Penny

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 04:05:03 GMT

i'm leaving here to be a part of something really really special...see you later.

6-21-06

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 21:44:48 GMT

Father, help me to love them. Help me to guide them. The last couple of months have been some of the hardest of my life. I have struggled daily. Struggled to talk to you...struggled to be honest with you, myself, and everyone I have come in contact with. I have not been able to feel much guidance from you. I have been in a funk. Today was the first time in a long time that I felt excitement. It was the first time in a long time that I thought you and I connected. Oh how I have missed that connection. Missed the intimacy that you and I have shared throughout this past year. Because we have...we have been extremely close. I have felt like I have known your heart...and because I have known your heart...I have been able to share your heart, your love, your grace, and your guidance to people and students that you have entrusted me with. I can only pray that this is the beginning of my return. The return to your heart. The return to enjoying your grace. One thing I did realize today was my lack of confession of my sins. So I confess them now. All the thoughts, all the pride, all the deceit. All the times I have considered myself better than others. The numerous occasions in which I ignore people and their needs to be concerned with my own. Those needs of mine usually being money and time. How pathetic is that God? Help me Jesus. Help me be like you...help me to love like you.

Forgiven Much...

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 00:43:05 GMT

sometimes i just feel like giving up...

never have i been to a funeral where a person's life was more celebrated. Nor have i been to a funeral where Jesus was more glorified. and...i have never been to a funeral where i left feeling like i had truly worshiped the Father.

Jay and Trinka...i love you both more than you could ever know. i will continue to be here for you.

you were honored today jordan....honored...

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 06:37:52 GMT

"Nana" is doing fine. They ran tests on her heart...there is no sign of blockage. Thankfully so.

Pray for the Newmans...losing a son/brother might be one of the most difficult things any of us could ever face.

Selfishness is stupid.

SPECIAL

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 14:03:11 GMT

i just want to ask everyone to please pray for my grandmother. she was experiencing tingling on the left side of her body and her heart was irregular this morning...she was being rushed to the emergency room as of about 15 minutes ago (9:50 a.m.).

as of about 30 minutes ago (2:00 p.m.)...she is stable and they are keeping her overnight to run some tests and such. ill keep you posted.

PRAY.

richard

love ALWAYS trusts.

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 14:55:15 GMT

If God is love, and love always trusts...that means God trusts us. In spite of how unfaithful we are...He trusts us with His love, heart, favor, name, etc. In spite of the fact that He knows I am going to mess up...He has this hope that I won't (because love always hopes). He trusts me to share His love with others...He trusts me not to lie to Him. There are so many things He trusts me with...I don't really understand why. But He does. And daily...I break that trust. I shatter it...along with His heart.

And then I say "Father, I love you." Which means I am also saying, "Father, I TRUST you." But do I really?

Trust...it's a big word. A word that means alot to me...especially with my friends. I hate to be lied to. Hate it. I hate when I can't trust someone. Often times...I might even trust too much. But...I guess the same can be said for Christ. He continually puts Himself out there for me...trusting me. Hoping that I don't break it anymore. But I will...everyday. I can only try to give Him a reason to trust me. Thank you God...for trusting me...in spite of my unfaithfulness.

Still learning to love...

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 04:23:36 GMT

people say that the "real you" comes out when you have had a few too many drinks. i got to thinking about that tonight...and i wondered what the "real me" would look like right now? i only have to wonder what i would look like because lately ive been doing alot of lying. to you, myself, God...everyone. ive been putting on this face like everything is fine and dandy. couldnt be further from the truth.

i think if the "real me" came out...he would probably express some anger, some frustration, some sadness...ok...alot of sadness. more than anything he would say he is lonely. he misses his friends and family. he'd express a little bit of happiness, not much joy. he'd express some hope. more hope for the future...and less for the present. he'd express some faith. a little in God...and even less in himself. i guess if im learning anything right now...its how pitiful i can be. how unfaithful and unloyal i am.

i've been through times like this before...only this one is the worst. its a tough time...one that i will get through. i know that i will get through it because thankfully, God is faithful. and, because ive gotten through it before.

to be honest...i dont really want your sympathy. i just want your prayers. as i told a great friend of mine the other day..."i just dont feel like typical richard." which sucks...because i typically like the guy.

and...please, please, dont tell me "you understand." some of you may truly understand...but some of you would say it just to be cliche...and i dont need cliche right now.

well im tired of putting on the "happy" face like so many of us do...SO...heres me...being honest with you...all of you.

PRAY.

Why Can't I

Tue, 30 May 2006 17:47:19 GMT

Oh I seem to have too many things in my life pass me by
Things dont work why do I try
Tossing and turning, why cant I get some sleep
No rest for my eyes theres too much on my mind
So Ill read a book to stay awake
Thinking how it feels to be alone and tired and wondering why
This fire had to die

But why cant I, why cant I
Make sense how I feel inside
And youre doing just fine
So why cant I

Situations never changing, mind is racing, heart is aching
Things always fade in time
In this game of life my wheel wont spin
And I cant think of a better way to begin
Stuck in the hands of time maybe someday
Could be Monday, this ship may turn around
As it stands the only way its going is down, is down

But why cant I, why cant I
Make sense how I feel inside
And youre doing just fine
So why cant I

Leaning on tomorrow maybe I could borrow
Just a little hope enough to get me by
I may get burnt or even worse
Im walking towards the fire
Cause thats the only way I feel alive

Why cant I, why cant I
Make sense how I feel, how I feel inside
And youre doing, you're doing just fine, doing just fine
So baby why
Why cant I
Why can't I

Lyrics by Michael Donner

Music by Losing Anna

lshoefitsme's Xanga

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Friday, July 14, 2006

Thursday, July 06, 2006

6-21-06

Forgiven Much...

Saturday, June 17, 2006

*SPECIAL*

love ALWAYS trusts.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Why Can't I

SPECIAL